So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
