Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
