If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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