Whatcha textin bout Willis?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
