So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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