she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize