It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
