so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
