if i can run in heels then i can drive
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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