The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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