You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How external is "for external use only"?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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