I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
