Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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