i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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