yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
