It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
