Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
