Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
