thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
