the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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