how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
