He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
