Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
