Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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