Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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