if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
