bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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