OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
