My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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