He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
