I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
