just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
