k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
