Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
there is glitter all over my balls
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
