Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
