You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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