maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
