office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
