Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
