Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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