I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
