Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
