UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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