if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
