at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
