He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
