hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
