We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
