I hate all girls vehemently.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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