He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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