It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
