the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
