im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
