i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
