Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
