i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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