I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
