I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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