then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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