So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
