"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
