Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
