so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
