maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
