He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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