I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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