saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize