btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
