I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
