I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
