I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
