I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think your dad took our porno
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
