It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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